Boy, was I wrong.
The lactation consultants were great! They showed me how to lay down and nurse so that he would not rest on my incision. At first, Jacob and I were, of course, awkward, but we seemed to be getting the hang of it. Then...the afternoon came...and the lactation consultant left. That's when things got real. I couldn't get him to latch, he was screaming and flailing about, and I was in tears. Did I mention that this kid has been holding his head up since day one? Yeah, that meant he was head butting me too...and scratching up my chest like Wolverine. Instead of a sweet baby, I felt like I was nursing this:
Then, a few days later, we learned Jacob had jaundice. Our doctor told us it was very important that he nursed as much as possible. When she said that, I burst into tears. The thought of nursing even more than the 12 times a day I was currently doing made me feel so defeated. It was at that moment I decided to start pumping and supplemented with formula. If my milk wasn't fully "in," I wasn't going to let my baby suffer and not get enough to eat when he needed to. I felt like a warrior, saying, "Screw those lactation ladies! My baby needs to eat and I will let him!"
When it was time to go home, I knew we had a long road ahead of us. And I was right...